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Notre Dame senior Paige Gesicki recently traveled to Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C., to research the culture and history of romantic relationships in the deaf community. Gallaudet is a liberal arts college for the deaf and hard of hearing, and it was a fitting place for her to begin an exploration into this topic.
An American studies major and gender studies minor, Gesicki became interested in the nuances of nonverbal communication after witnessing a deaf aunt and cousin rely on lip reading, miming, and gestures to converse with hearing family members not fluent in American Sign Language. She decided to research how these communication obstacles have influenced people who are deaf, starting with the development of romantic relationships.
Community Immersion
The experience—funded by a grant from the Institute for Scholarship in the Liberal Arts’ Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program—was an enlightening role reversal for Gesicki.
“The primary language at Gallaudet is American Sign Language, and that made me a minority language-wise for the first time,” she says. “I learned how important facial expressions are and am now more aware of even hearing people’s body language and its significance in conversation.”
In addition to engaging with current students and faculty at Gallaudet, Gesicki spent time in the university’s archives, where she found oral histories, memoirs, and diaries that shed a historical light on her research topic. After returning to her hometown of Chester, N.J., Gesicki continued her research at library archives in the New York City area.
“I was able to find numerous memoirs that mentioned the difficulties of being a deaf person and dating. Many of them recounted being mistakenly perceived as rude, because conversation points would go unheard and then ignored,” she says, noting that these misunderstandings occurred mainly when a deaf individual dated a hearing person and was less than forthcoming about their deafness.
Many of the collections she examined also brought up another notable relationship influencer: technology.
“Technological advances have had a monumental effect on the deaf community. Dates can now be set up through a vast array of social networks such as email, instant messaging, Facebook, and Twitter—with more likely to develop in the future,” she says. “In addition, many dating sites have emerged exclusive to the deaf community, and the phenomenon of video chat has now allowed communication through sign language, as opposed to the TTY [teletypewriter] system previously used.”
Finding a Common Ground
In many ways, the dating norms of the hearing impaired are not much different from hearing couple. “The social scripts of meeting, going on a movie or dinner date, and other activities like the goodnight kiss are also adhered to by the deaf community.”
But Gesicki did identify some distinctive challenges deaf individuals face when dating. “In my research about dating in the deaf community, the most common issue I found was the need to alter modes of communication,” she says. “Difficulties arise if each partner does not find a personal and unique way to do so. No form of communicating, no matter how unconventional it may seem to the larger hearing majority, is out of question when trying to make a deaf romantic relationship work.”
After graduation, Gesicki wants to get an interpreter’s license for American Sign Language and go into marketing, with a particular focus on the deaf community.
“The only way to develop sensitivities to other cultures is through an increase of knowledge,” she says, “something I will contribute to by addressing an often-overlooked demographic.”
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Deafness is defined as hearing loss, which relates directly to the volume of sound that a person is capable of perceiving. This also pertains to the frequency of sound a person may or may not hear. While some people have specific difficulties in hearing low- or high-pitched sounds, some people cannot hear anything at all. A loss of hearing is related to the condition of the inner ear and whether there was a problem from birth or the hearing loss occurred much later.
Deaf Culture & Sign Language
People in the deaf community have enjoyed the Internet and computers because it has opened up a whole new deaf world for them. Many deaf sites exist for those with a hearing loss and that includes a means for deaf people to receive deaf world news, review deaf events in Maryland, deaf events NYC or deaf events Bay Area, connect with deaf groups, create a deaf directory, find deaf resources, find a deaf chat online website, a deaf website and so much more.
Because of the Internet, many deaf culture websites have sprung up and provide a wealth of resources for the deaf. For the deaf person, he or she may be more comfortable dating deaf people or finding a deaf club, a deaf event or even deaf chat rooms where a person can mingle and feel comfortable among people who understand. For the deaf person, when he or she is in an online deaf chat room, visiting one of the many deaf websites, or involved in deaf chat, there is no difference between the deaf person and anyone else online.
Making the deaf connection starts with communication and learning sign language. To speak with a deaf person, it's important to face them and enunciate clearly for those who can lip read. While rudimentary sign language is a form of communication, most deaf people learn the American Sign Language that consists of a series of gestures for commonly used terms and an alphabet to spell out words that aren't commonly used.
Every person has the right to communicate and learning the language of those who cannot hear or speak the same way that you do displays an openness and compassion to understand others. Sign language is quick and easy to learn, if you take the time to do so. There are many deaf culture websites and deaf websites that show you the basics of sign language, if you would like to learn this language. Several schools have also classified sign language as a foreign language so that those who take it receive school credit.
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